The Great Adventure of Life: My Dad

Dad visiting in 2005 to help renovate our bathroom.

When I think about my dad I remember this huge man, standing in the kitchen, beside the microwave after a day at work, waiting for dinner. I remember myself coming into the kitchen to hug him and wrapping my arms almost all the way around him from the side, then pausing to pat his belly. In some ways, things were simple then, to me anyway, I was probably in middle school.

Mom and Dad on Vroman's Nose in NY fall 2007

It's easy to see now that things were never really simple for him... oh maybe when he was lettering in football, basketball and baseball in high school or in football and baseball at the Coast Guard Academy... but after that life has certainly had its share of challenges. Honorably discharged from the Coast Guard because of epilepsy and sent home from his life's dream to find a somewhat mundane job repairing photocopy machines, he found his pleasures elsewhere. He married my mom and I came along quickly and was quickly followed by my brother and then my sister. Our family has had our share of difficulties too, cancer not being the least of them as we lost Dad's dad to cancer when I was only 6 years old and struggled through my mom's eventual victory over cancer when I was in high school.

My wedding June 2004

I have always admired my dad because through all those challenges- he was always there for us. We didn't necessarily talk all that much. Mom was decidedly the bigger talker. Even with few words it was evident through his actions that he loved us and he would always be there. Yes, if you knew him much at all, you knew he had a love for the computer and especially role playing games and was quite practiced at shutting out the world around him to tune in to the machine- a skill I think I've acquired from him myself, I'm not into role playing games though, for better or worse. His ability to tune us out didn't change the fact that he was home, everyday at 5:30pm, after spending the day working to support us. When we got in trouble, when my parents fought, when money was tight, he never left, he just kept right on working. He was always there for us.

Dad goofing around with Scott- Christmas 2010.

Of course, he loved to have fun too, so he found a way to play and work at the same time- umpiring baseball and later officiating football. Sports were always a priority for him. I loved going with him to watch him umpire baseball games. I mostly went to the Little League games, where I could raid his car for cash to buy candy at the concession stands. I know he enjoyed his fan section. He continued to enjoy his fan section in 2010 when it had grown to include my then pregnant self and 3 of his little grandsons and even Stage 4 cancer couldn't keep him from officiating football. I realized how important the fan section was to him back when I was in high school. I played field hockey, was on the indoor track team, and played softball. At almost every game, towards the end, right around 5:00pm, I could look over to the stands and there he was standing behind everyone else having come straight from work to watch me play.

Dad officiating at Indian Land, August 2010.

Cheering for Scott at one of his first soccer games, fall 2010.

He also loved to have fun with us, by taking us places. His umpiring money took us to Disney World when I was 9. I know it was hot, though that's not what I remember about the trip, where we tent camped, in July, in Orlando. I remember his excitement about everything. Space Mountain, which despite the love of roller coasters he had instilled in me by age 3, turned me off to roller coasters for 3 years. I hope I didn't let him down too badly- I love it now. We had a blast on the Pirates of the Caribbean, Spaceship Earth, seeing the "Laser Light" show at Epcot, and spending a day at one of the water parks- where I braved the vertical slide and didn't let him down. My most distinct memory though is of walking around World Showcase and trying all kinds of new foods at the different "countries" with him- he did always enjoy food too. This past week my family took our annual vacation to Disney World and tried something new, in memory of Dad we got Churros from the Mexico Pavillion in World Showcase in Epcot.

Teasing each other over whip cream and pumpkin pie, Thanksgiving 2011.

There was so much more to Dad than just fun and food, of course. I can trace my Christian testimony to my early childhood as I remember him reading to us from The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes- I can still remember the pictures, without looking at the book- which is still on the bookshelf at my parents house. I also remember him reading the scene from the Hobbit where Bilbo and Gollum have a riddle war (I was around 6 years old at the time), but I suppose that's a separate story. Church was always a priority for Dad. He loved to sing. He was always in the choir and usually had solos to sing during the summer months when the choir didn't practice regularly. I liked riding to church early with him, just the 2 of us, when he had to be there for choir practice- come to think of it, I enjoyed riding with him all kinds of places, we spent a lot of time together in the car. He would talk about his Bethel Series study, the memory verses he was working on when the Billy Graham Crusade came to Albany, or we would listen to the Bible on tape- and I could never understand why anyone would want to listen to the instructions for how to build the ark - it's all in cubits - or really any of Leviticus, but he seemed to like to, and now I understand there are important lessons for us even in those parts of Scripture.

At Riverbanks Zoo, having fun, September 2009.

The biggest impact he had on my personal commitment to Christ, he probably never even knew about. His love for singing and his love for Christ came together when he performed in a musical drama (depicting the life of Christ) called "The Witness." It was when I was watching one of the performances that the weight and magnitude of Christ's sacrifice, for me personally, became something real. Sure I knew all the answers, long before that, but that was when it became real, when I realized it was all my fault, but Jesus loves me anyway.

Clemson vs NC State, November 6, 2010.

That's why this past week, when I sang (or croaked, I can't sing anything like Dad can)When We All Get To Heaven, with my boys, who are all less than 6 years old, and talked about how Papa will "see Jesus and sing and shout the Victory!" I was astounded that they insisted that Papa doesn't sing. They've known a different man than I did, but I was determined to convince them otherwise. Thankfully, I have a video of my wedding, where he sang and sang well, though maybe not quite so well as he is singing today.

Passing on his love of football to Blaise, November 2010.

Yes, Dad will be missed, terribly, by many. I have no idea who I'll go to when I have a question about the rules of football now, and my boys won't get to hear him sing or play and wrestle with him, but it is a great comfort to know that he is in heaven and we will see him again someday and we'll be able to sing with him. And so I want to celebrate his life and his arrival in that blessed place more like a wedding party than a funeral, though the tears have come and will continue.