Nursing Isn't Easy

I'm pretty passionate about nursing... in case you didn't know.  I love how it's just another picture of how perfectly God has designed us.  The ability to not only produce new life, but also to sustain it is pretty amazing.  However, I also know that doesn't always happen easily.  Like everything in life, you do have to work for it, and sometimes, for some people it's a lot of hard work.  Here's the warning, don't read any further if you don't want to hear about nursing in detail and just how hard it can be. 

This is just my story, it's not meant to offend anyone, but I want to record it, mostly just for myself, but also in hopes that someone might be encouraged to keep at it, even when it is hard. 

I've often heard, even read that nursing should be painless.  That hasn't been the case for me.  I actually did a poll on a forum that I'm on recently and discovered that in most cases, especially with a first child nursing can be extremely painful and challenging at first.  Good thing it is SO REWARDING that it's all worth it. 

My first was quite challenging.  It was painful getting him to be able to latch on properly, then I had a yeast infection, then I had mastitis (the same day I had to take my precious Patience dog and have her put down).  Finally, at about 8 weeks things started to smooth out and I was comfortable. 

Scott- about 3 weeks, quite the chunky little guy, and we thought he had a lot of hair!

My 2nd, it was also painful initially, but only briefly.  This time it was a combination of sore nipples and those horrible, but very important in a good way cramps that nursing induces to help heal the body. 

Blaise- about 3 weeks, with a lot more hair than Scott, at least on the sides.

My 3rd, was similar.  Except then he slept through the night...then he didn't... then he did it again... then he didn't... repeat for a few weeks with randomly sleeping through the night and just about EVERY time he slept through the night I got mastitis.  I learned something... Redmond's Real Salt cures mastitis, quick and easy.  1 Tablespoon of Redmond's Real Salt, dissolved in 1C hot water will flush your system and the mastitis will clear up in 24 hours.  Drink the whole cup of that twice the first day you notice symptoms and once a day for the next couple of days.  Remember to also keep massaging any red problem areas.  Someone also mentioned to me during this time that there's a supplement called Lecithin you can take to help prevent mastitis, but I never ended up getting it.

Michael- about 3 weeks, even more hair, and a big guy.

My 4th was a pretty miserable experience for a long time.  He came 2 weeks early, where all the others were born considerably after their due dates.  That means he was smaller.  He had a very hard time getting latched on, but once he was on he was fine.  He would do this head bobbing thing and kind of kiss my nipple, but didn't get down to business.  Surprisingly he never had a problem with weight gain.  When my milk came in, I was very engorged.  I called the lactation office and they were pretty much no help.  Once the engorgement went away I was left with horribly sore nipples.  After a couple of days they were cracked and bleeding.  It was pretty painful, to say the least.  Nothing was helping and I wasn't sure where to turn for help.  I was using nipple shields, but he still wasn't latching on like he should, so the sore spots were just getting more and more irritated.  I used plenty of lanolin cream, and rubbed plenty of milk in to help heal it too... all to no avail.  Finally, when he was about 5 weeks old a lactation consultant, who couldn't see us because she was sick with the flu, suggested using a triple cream- hydrocortisone, Neosporin, and an anti-fungal.  My pharmacist mother had a great time mixing it up for me.  After about a week of that things started getting better and by the time he was 6 weeks we were doing well.  This was my 4th baby, I really expected things to be going smoother and I told Cullen to remind me of the 6 weeks of pain when I started wanting another baby.  Guess it wasn't bad enough to make me change my mind.

Daniel- about 3 weeks, our bald baby, and you can see the thrush in his mouth.

Now for the long part- it's been 2 pages so far and it's another 4 pages in Word from here to the end.  The 5th time around, with a baby girl hasn't been much better.  She had a good latch starting out, being bigger certainly makes that part easier.   She also was born ready to suck on anything anywhere near her mouth, which is a good thing.  I got engorged again when my milk came in, but remembered to treat it with cabbage leaves in the bra right away and it never got too bad.  I had the initial nipple soreness, and the cramping, but I thought we were doing pretty good.  Baby girl was sleeping well at night too, going for a 5-6 hour stretch nearly every night.  I would wake up after 3 hours or so, feeling full and wondering if I should wake her, but I've always been on the don't wake a sleeping baby side of the fence.  At the same time with such a little one, I was hesitant to pump not wanting to mess with the supply or have to give her a bottle if she woke up right after I finished. 

RoseMarie- less than 24 hours, nice and chubby at birth!  And wow, yes, lots of hair.

Not surprisingly with such a sleeper, when she was 6 days old I got a fever, which means mastitis.  I drank my real salt and massaged and things seemed to clear up.  The next day I felt fine, even though the red spot was still there.  The day after that though, 8 days old, I had a fever again.  Now I had 2 red spots.  I drank more salt and on the recommendation of the lactation consultant, who wasn't sick and saw us at the Breastfeeding Support Group, I resolved to drink the salt daily for a full week to make sure things cleared all the way up.  Baby girl seemed to be gaining weight well, a little slower than her brothers, but gaining- despite the fact that she nursed for a very long time during the support group meeting, but didn't take in nearly enough.  The next day the first spot had cleared up and was gone, but the 2nd remained. 

RoseMarie- 10 days, cuteness.

Fast forward a week, she's now 15 days old and the spot is still there, possibly a little bit bigger, I am still feeling feverish off and on, and during the support group meeting we found that baby girl was actually losing weight.  I figured it was about time I just went to the doctor and got antibiotics, but the lactation consultant pointed out that antibiotics clear an infection, not a blocked duct, so they would only need to be repeated if the duct didn't clear.  She recommended a few things to get the duct to clear... soak in hot water with Epsom salt, twice a day, and continued massage.  She thought this would clear it up in a day or two.  She also recommended a few things to get baby girl back on track, noting that the problem was that she wasn't doing much swallowing- compressing the breast while she's eating, supplementing with pumped milk (I always have a considerable excess, and typically pump once a day, after she finishes nursing in the morning and get 4-5 oz), and waking her to feed her more frequently. 

RoseMarie- 2 weeks, skinny cuteness, as she was getting much longer too.

I gave her 1-2oz from the bottle after nursing twice the day after that and only once the following day and she seemed to get the idea and do a better job with swallowing.  I did also try to disturb her more frequently, but still only managed to get her to nurse 8-9 times a day.  I had definitely given up on the don't wake a sleeping baby mantra and we woke her every 4 hours during the night (though sometimes it took 40 minutes and lots of cold water to wake her.) 

The salt seemed to help my breast feel better (softer), but the next day I had a higher fever, 102.  I decided I needed to go get antibiotics anyway, but didn't get in til the next day (Thursday, day 17).  I also still had a red spot, so on Friday I talked to another lactation consultant from the same office who said the next thing to try is soaking a rag in Castor Oil, applying that to the spot and applying heat on top of that.  I tried the Castor Oil a couple of times, but I still had a fever, nursing was horribly painful, and the red spot had become much larger and very swollen.  We passed a miserable weekend (and had people in town visiting, wanting to help, which I didn't respond well to- I'm not a very easy sick person.)  By Sunday (day 20) it was difficult to get her latched on, because it was very swollen.  Once she was latched on, it was horribly painful to take her off and remove the pressure.  I was pretty certain that the infection had abscessed at this point and did my research to find out what the course of action would be.  I was still trying to massage a little bit, and made one or two more attempts with the Epsom salt and the Castor Oil.  We skipped church, and I had Cullen skip too to stay with me, which is really saying something if you know us. 

Monday I still had a fever- for the 6th straight day after being on antibiotics for 4 days.  The fever was responding slower to the ibuprofen, so I was feeling much worse though.  Plus, Monday morning any fears I had that it had abscessed were confirmed as  it broke through the skin during the night, and it was oozing some when I woke up.  I called the doctor, knowing I needed to see a doctor, but they said that my favorite midwife had an appointment available!  I figured that would make me feel better and she would get the doctor if she needed to. 

We had a friend come keep the boys and Cullen came with me to the doctor.  Baby girl was hungry, just as they put us in an exam room, so she was nursing when the midwife came in- all cheerful as usual.  She could see around her head the edge of the red spot and immediately started with we'll get you on some antibiotics for that right away.  I laughed, seriously, and pointed out that she couldn't see anything yet and I was already on antibiotics.  She went and saw another patient while we finished nursing.  When she came back in, she moved here from England in 2005,  she saw it and said, "Bloody Hell!  I've never seen anything that bad in my life."  I laughed again- I told you I knew she'd make me feel better.  Then she promptly went and got the doctor, who immediately said, "Call the surgeon."

They called and arranged for us to get in with the surgeon right away, so we drove across town.  If you want to skip the part about the actual surgery, skip to the next paragraph now.  The surgeon came in and looked at it and said, "That hurts a lot doesn't it?"  Um, yes.  He said it needed to be cut open and drained.  There was a lot of pus right under the skin right there that needed to get out.  We could go across the street to the hospital and do general anesthesia or go down the hall to their surgery room and do it in the office.  Immediate is always better right?  Cullen promptly excused himself to the waiting area.  I waited for a while in that really really really cold room.  When the surgeon came back he said he would give me a local anesthesia, but it probably wouldn't do anything.  I couldn't feel that needle at all and I couldn't feel the incision at first either.  Yes, I watch, I can't help it.  The nurse kept telling me to lay my head back and that I didn't need to look.  The surgeon was right, there was a lot of pus.  It also hurt a lot, as he had to press on it and even dig his finger down in it to break it up and make sure to get it all out.  The incision was a little over an inch across (and it's on the underside of my breast.)  He didn't stitch it up, so it's been kind of spread out in the middle and oval shaped.  He did put in a little tube to make sure it kept draining and one stitch to keep the drain in place.  He had said I would feel better immediately.  I did feel better, but had a different kind of pain- like right after you fall off a bike and skin your knee, it stings for a little bit kind of pain.  It was a definite improvement. 

When we left the office, we were both crying- I was upset because I had to cancel my trip to Tupper Lake to come back to get the drain out (seriously, hormones make you emotional over the weirdest things) and Cullen was upset because I had had to deal with that, and have surgery, and because I was upset.  

RoseMarie- 3 weeks and 2 days, even cuter?

The surgeon had said that I couldn't nurse on that side for at least a couple of days.  I asked about pumping and he said that was fine as long as I dumped it, the concern being not wanting to get the infection into the baby's mouth.  I wasn't brave enough to pump right away though, so I just hand expressed some a few times that first day, then I pumped twice the 2nd day- ouch.  I had her back on nursing the 3rd day after the surgery and it was fine.  A little annoying with the drain hanging out and trying to keep that covered and away from her, but it felt much more like nursing should.  I think I said that to Cullen at least once that week- finally, this is what it's supposed to be. 

It has now healed up nicely, just a little scab left after 3 weeks of healing from the inside out to make sure it's clear of infection.  Now I look at my sweet 6 week old girl while she nurses and smile contentedly.  This is what it's supposed to be like and we are going to thoroughly enjoy the rest of her first year and beyond- as I informed Cullen, who has a 1 year rule for nursing, after all this I will do absolutely nothing to encourage weaning.  

RoseMarie- 5 weeks, 3 days... and we're golden finally.  Really enjoying staring at her sweet face.

There you have it, that's how we spent the month of August and that's why I dropped off the face of the planet for a few weeks.  We are back.