Fight Tigers, Fight Tigers, Fight Fight Fight

We train them early.  Scott, Blaise, and Michael all know what football season is and look forward to it, with almost as much anticipation as going to Grandma's house.  Daniel may not care for watching football in Death Valley, but he's mastered the fist pump and is very familiar with the Clemson Alma Mater.  RoseMarie, at less than 6 weeks old, decided she was quite comfortable with the sights and sounds of Death Valley (okay, mostly sounds, she didn't really open her eyes that frequently.)  They don't quite understand what the NFL is though, and will always say Clemson if you ask who their favorite team is- college football is where it's at.  (Which is kind of ironic, because I grew up on the NFL and spent my Sunday afternoons in college watching the NFL.  I used to roll my eyes at all my uncles when we would get together around New Year's and they would have college football on.)  Yes, we took the whole family (and my friend Kim) to Death Valley last week for the Furman game.  Hopefully tonight's game will be better played and another win.

Pictures...

Tailgating... who doesn't love that?

RoseMarie, enjoying our tailgate too.

Kim put together a nice spread- and enough to feed us all twice and still have loads left over!

Watching the band pre-game at the amphitheater.  They all love the band.

Kim got to take a bunch of pictures of all of us, always nice to have.

You can't see Michael, but Cullen is holding both Daniel and Michael for running down the hill.

This is how she looked most of the first half.  

Then we passed her around, but she was still totally asleep.  Notice Michael watching the game. 

Daddy's turn.

This is after the youth group that was sitting in front of us left and there was lots of space around us.  

Love the expressions in this one.  Scott and Blaise both watching the game.

It was hot.  

Another good family shot, thanks for coming with us Kim (and not just for the pictures)!

And this will probably be the last blog post for at least a whole week... or you know 3 months, you never know.

Back to School!

The beginning of our school year was not exactly what I expected this year. I didn't even get to take an official back to school picture and at this point it seems silly to try- already into our 6th week.

Closest thing to a Back to School picture- Clemson's first game day of the season.

As we were planning for our school year, we were expecting a baby in July.  I considered starting before the baby came, but was vetoed by the principal, because well, one week and then a break for a baby wouldn't  exactly establish a good routine anyway.  He's right of course.  But then... it ended up not being just a week, or even just 2 weeks... Usually, well, at least last year, which was our first, we started the first week in August.  I like that start date- I've enjoyed the summer and am totally ready for a more structured routine by then.  Teaching 1st grade really doesn't happen from a hospital room across town though, and definitely not teaching 1st grade AND kinder.  We pushed our start date to the 2nd week in August, just a couple of days before the public schools started.  That didn't work either, because I ended up getting pretty sick (long story, 6 pages in Word, but I might post it eventually) for about 3 weeks.  The principal did fill in and help us not fall too far behind during those weeks.  At any rate, we are well underway now and here's a snapshot of what we're doing this year.  Along with a couple of quotes from a "back to school" interview I did with them, an idea I borrowed from http://www.1plus1plus1equals1.net/.  It should be noted, our season in life is obvious because both Scott and Blaise answered the question, "When I was little I used to..." with "eat milk."

Scott- 1st Grade
Math- Singapore Math 2A
Reading/Phonics- Drawn Into the Heart of Reading Level 2/3, Explode the Code (flying through Bk 4 and planning to go through Bk 6 this year)
Writing/Grammar- First Language Lessons for the Well-Trained Mind, Level 2
History- Story of the World Volume 1, and Activity Guide
Science- Real Science 4 Kids, Pre-Level 1 Biology

Scott- he only smiles for pictures if he's with the baby.

"The coolest person on earth is Carly."
"When I grow up I want to play football."
What makes you feel loved?  "Hugs and kisses."

Blaise- Kinder
Math- Singapore Math 1A
Reading/Phonics- The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading, Explode the Code (Bk 2)
Writing/Grammar- A Reason for Handwriting (A), First Language Lessons for the Well-Trained Mind, Level 1
History and Science we all do together, so they are the same as Scott.

Blaise- he was busy playing Kids of Carcassonne.

"The coolest person on earth is Grandma."
"When I grow up I want to be a fireman."
What makes you feel loved?  "Presents."

Michael- Preschool (3 years old)
I've been doing some loose Letter-of-the-Week activities with him, most notably a weekly "Storytime" since I don't feel like it's a good idea for us to go to Storytime at the library anymore.
He pulls old workbooks to write in.
I collected a box full of quiet activities for him and Daniel to play with while I'm working with the brothers and he's enjoying those a lot- especially stuffing pipe cleaners in colanders.

Michael

"The coolest person on earth is Jesus."
"When I grow up I want to... I not growing up."
What makes you feel loved?  "Jesus."

Daniel- 21 months
He hangs out... tries to do whatever Michael is doing, or draws with chalk, or... who knows?
He's getting ready to potty-train sometime in the next month or so, when I decide I'm ready to help him out a little more.

Daniel- aka "Smiley Boy."

RoseMaire- newborn
Nurse, poop, sleep... with lots of cuddling thrown in there too.
She's already learned to smile!

RoseMarie

We're also reading through Character Sketches, Volume 1 and trying to do more character training with them this year.  Plenty of memory verses everywhere.  We're reading the book of Luke in the mornings together in bite-size pieces.  I have a few odds and ends to add on for electives and just plain fun.

1st Field Trip to Sky Top Orchard.

My favorite so far is the Story of the World Activity Guide.  I'm still searching for the perfect science curriculum, but I'm not sure it exists... I'm adding a lot to this one to keep them interested.

An archaeological dig in the backyard from the Story of the World Activity Guide.  They loved it. 

Brother Love

I love catching my 4 big boys loving on their baby sister.  It's pretty random, but it happens daily.  Here's one day last week:

 Michael went and got her her stuffed elephant "Pinky" before she even woke up, then stayed on the bed with her to watch her.

During our morning school time, I left the room to help Blaise and came back to find Scott just sitting beside her watching her.

When she was ready for bed, Blaise just snuggled down beside her.

Then Daniel had a temper tantrum, because he wanted a turn to hold her before bed.  He's pretty much mastered being gentle with her and frequently pets her hair, much the way Michael did to him when he was a newborn.

Melts my heart to see my boys being real men and protecting their baby sister.  :)

One Month Flies By

We have a girl in the house... besides me!  And she's been here for more than a month already, so I realized it's time to write out her story, before I start forgetting things.  Yes, it's very long and yes there are plenty of details.

Apparently we were "All Ready" for her arrival way back around July 11th, but she had other plans.  July was a rather longish month.  Grandma arrived on the 18th to be here and help out for the birth.  With a due date of July 24th, and actual births 12 days early, and 6-11 days late, we weren't sure what to expect.  Grandma was hoping for the 19th or so, most were hoping for right around the due date (which happened to be Michael's 3rd birthday), I was hoping for August, but realistically thinking it would be sometime closer to the due date.

Thankfully, we joined the YMCA this summer in order to be able to use the outdoor pool.  It's a very nice waterpark, with one of those bucket dumping, water playground areas for little kids, a 6 lane lap pool with 2 slides off the back corner and an additional, deep pool with 2 slides with steep drops.  Mostly, we hung out in the playground area... maximum depth less than 2 feet.  By mid-July, even Daniel was all over the place there and sliding down pretty much all the slides in that area.  Blaise taught himself, or rather practiced what he already knew, gliding and floating on his stomach and back in the shallow water.  Scott worked himself up to actual swimming in the "big" lap pool and eventually made it almost all the way across the 6 lanes, so I would let him do the slides.  He loved the slides.  I think we are all looking forward to next summer and getting back to the pool.  This summer, I was just thankful for the water and we definitely got our money's worth out of our membership by heading to the pool several times a week.  Unfortunately, this did not produce a baby.

This is what the pool does to Daniel.

I typically have all my gender dreams near the end of pregnancy.  This time was no different.  And so far, including this time, it's been the last one that was right.  The day after Grandma arrived, I dreamed it was a girl, but I wasn't present for the birth.  Interesting, I know.  I pretty much threw that one out the window instantly.  Next night I dreamed it was a boy, but Cullen wasn't present, so we didn't look at the gender til he finally came in a while after the baby was born.  Then a few days later (maybe even a week later), I dreamed the baby was born with her legs crossed and when we pulled her one leg up we could see she was a girl.  I didn't mention that one to anybody at the time... but my last gender dream, right near the birthday continues to be right.

Michael's 3rd birthday, blowing out the candles.

The kid table, Michael's best friend Jackson (and Scott's best friend Carly).

And of course, there were plenty of presents.

We celebrated Michael's birthday with a small party with our good friends, then celebrated again on his birthday with dinner at Cheesecake Factory.   As part of the summer reading program, our library brings in performers each week for a show and we made it to the last show at the library.  We were still home to eat lunch (which turned into dinner, because it was too crowded at lunchtime) at Chic-fil-A on August 1st.  Believe it or not, we are fans of traditional marriage, oh and also the first ammendment.

Chic-fil-A, this was actually taken early in July on Cow Appreciation day.

Blaise pretending to be a turtle under the laundry basket, after a library show by the SC Aquarium.

Ah, we arrived at August.  Grandma was a bit frustrated at this point, beginning to wonder if she was even going to get to meet the baby after being here helping out (huge huge help as she was cooking, shopping, and doing laundry for me) for more than 2 weeks.  Friday rolled around (August 3rd) and I had to have an ultrasound, and non-stress test to check on the baby.  Everything looked great (plenty of fluid, baby was active, I was soft and 3cm dilated) and I was pleasantly surprised that the DOCTOR (I usually see a midwife) was okay with us waiting a few more days for the baby to make an entrance.  She did say we couldn't go past 42 weeks though, so we looked at the on-call schedule and we picked Monday August 6th, which was 13 days past the due date for induction (the same midwife who delivered Michael was on-call that day, so I knew she knew what I wanted.)  The office was supposed to call me over the weekend and give me a time to come in.  They didn't.  We contemplated what to do if Monday happened to roll around without a baby and continued hoping and praying that Baby El would just decide it was time.

Grandpa had arrived on Friday and he decided that they could stay through Tuesday morning, to meet the baby and keep the boys during the birth.  That was the whole point of Grandma's long trip after all.

Monday arrived.  No baby, or real signs that it would be anytime soon.  We decided to just go to the hospital, rather than call the office and ask about it... and I took my time getting up and out the door.  I was glad I did.  We got to the hospital around 8:30am.  They didn't have us on their schedule, so we waited in the waiting area for a good half hour or so.  They talked to Tina (the midwife) and she knew exactly who I was and had me sent back to triage.  Figuring they would at least monitor us for a little while and make sure everything still looked good.  After I'd been on the monitor a little while, Tina came in to check me- still the same 3cm dilated.   They didn't actually have a room available right then, but they informed me that they would just keep me, because I was so late.  After some hour or so on the monitor, they let me off and let me walk around... I realized the Olympics were on and there was a TV available, only to be disappointed that the only thing on was Water Polo- yeah, not really what I was interested in.  We ended up doing a lot of reading (we enjoy the Harry Potter movies, and Cullen's never read the books, so I'm reading them to him right now).  We walked the hospital a few times too.  It continues to amaze me that EVERY time I have been to that hospital (this was our 5th birth there, and they've been separated by 2 years or less each time) it's different.  This was the biggest change and there was plenty for Cullen to take pictures of... since he's an architect in the healthcare field, he's constantly taking pictures of doctor's offices and hospitals as we happen to visit them.  During all the waiting around in triage, one of the nurses actually made a comment to me about all the people who were going to go into labor because of the weather and come in, making them even more crowded.  All I could think of was, "You mean like ME!  Hello, I'm 13 days past the guess day."

12:30pm rolls around and we're still in triage, so Cullen decided it was time to go get something for lunch.  Naturally, 5 minutes after he left they had a room for us.  I headed down the hall and started to get settled.  They put me back on the monitors and started doing all the paperwork.  Cullen came back with lunch, we ate... more paperwork and signing extra things that I didn't like having to sign.  They had to put some kind of IV connector in and leave it there when they did my blood work, just in case.  Then I had to sign off on having an epidural, just in case.  And of course, signing off on the cervigel they were going to use first.  See, they know, even if they refuse to admit it that one intervention DOES lead to another, and another, and another, etc.

Another funny... as we were waiting for Tina to come in to put the cervigel in, I was in the bed with a blanket over me, because it's really cold there.  As Tina came in, Cullen looks at the blanket and says, "Hm, that's weird, looks like your laundry service made a mistake."  The blanket had the Novant logo on it (for the other hospital system in the area) rather than the CMS "Tree of life".  Well, Tina thought that was too much and actually pulled out another blanket, so she could take that one to the management.  It was just really funny, as I doubt anyone else would have even noticed.

Moving along, 1:15ish, Tina came in and actually put the cervigel in, at which point I  had to lay on my side in the bed on the monitors for 45 minutes.  The interesting part of this whole experience was being on the monitors for so long.  The Braxton-Hicks contractions I was having when I came in were registering around 20 on the monitor.  As soon as the cervigel went in the contractions started registering 50-80, and higher.  Cullen had fun observing the monitor and feeling like he actually had some idea of what was going on.  Made me realize how out of the loop I'm sure he's felt at the other births when I was just in my zone and he had no real way of knowing what was going on.  But I still prefer the other way... laboring mostly at home without monitors.

After my 45 minutes was up they took me off the monitors and I was free to move around as much as I wanted.  I'm not into walking the hallways when I'm really in labor.  I read a few more chapters, then got up and paced the room, repeat... I was missing my computer desk to lean on during the contractions, so Cullen had to stand in.  I don't think he minded.  He sang a couple of old RUF songs (very calming.)

Around 4pm Tina came back in to check me and break my water.  She said she expected things to go quickly after that and wouldn't leave the room.  I was 7cm.  She broke my water.  Baby was face up so she suggested that I lay on one side for a few contractions, then turn over and lay on the other side for a few contractions to encourage the baby to turn.  Then she left the room?!

I was on my left side for a little bit.  The nurse told me to roll over, and my first contraction on my right side I thought, hmmm feels a little like pushing.  Second contraction on my right side and I told Cullen it feels like pushing.  He relayed the message.  Tina came back in the room.  She said go ahead and push and told me I could sit up if I wanted to and of course she finished getting everything ready.  I did.  She checked me, said I was complete and that she could already see baby.  Next contraction, one real push and baby was out- face-up, no tearing.  Face-up means I got to see first that it was a girl.  (It's also a little more work, but she was easy compared to my other face-up baby, Michael, I think I was in the right position to help things along this time.)  She came right up onto my chest and I got to cut the cord.  Then she snuggled with me for an hour before getting poked and prodded and all that.  After the poking and prodding, her daddy finally got his hands on her and I'm pretty sure she owns him already.

She didn't want to come out yet, and she's sure she'd rather be back in, where it's not so bright and cold.

Planning Daddy-Daughter dates already?

We called Scott first.  He was busy... outside on the porch playing in the water table, so Cullen got to announce on speaker phone to all the boys and Grandma and Grandpa at the same time.  The story goes... the boys went crazy with excitement jumping up and down and throwing water everywhere.  Yes, they are thrilled to have a sister!  We decided they could come visit briefly before bed and meet her.

Daniel was excited to see us.

Blaise wanted to be the first to hold her- he was.

Michael, also excited to hold her.

Scott, serious, as usual, but totally in love.

Family of 7.

Tell me again, how do I have a girl?

RoseMarie Hope was born at 4:46pm on August 6, 2012, with a very full head of thick dark hair.  She weighed in at 8lbs 4oz, and measured 19 inches.  She is named for my Grandma, who passed away in 2008.  Her 4 big brothers came to meet her a little before 7pm.  After that we tried to fill the announcement in with pictures and call people.  I did a really crummy job of calling people this time... so please forgive me for not calling.  I did remember to call my sister, who's very excited for her little girl to have a girl cousin so close in age (now if only they weren't moving out of the country.)  We called my mom, who happened to be on her other phone with my Grandpa.  Kind of sad, but his alzheimer's is bad enough now that he didn't understand at all.   We called my Grandma Jill, who said she thought it would be a girl, which surprised me because she's the one who had 5 boys.  Cullen called his grandparents too.  His grandma was staying with his Uncle Buddy that weekend, so Aunt Laura answered the phone and said, "Hi Cullen, you want to talk to Grandma don't you."  The story goes... she then stood there waiting like a puppy to get a feel for the news, then raced outside to the barn to tell Kelly and Uncle Buddy, screaming wildly.  They all proceeded to run, screaming wildly into the house and Cullen got to talk to all of them in turn, except Aunt Laura, I guess she was too excited?!  :)  Really it's the friends we didn't remember to call... but we did get the announcement put together and emailed/posted to facebook before we fell asleep.

Sleeping... gotta snuggle with something.  (Yes, I moved it right after I took the picture.)

Nursing Isn't Easy

I'm pretty passionate about nursing... in case you didn't know.  I love how it's just another picture of how perfectly God has designed us.  The ability to not only produce new life, but also to sustain it is pretty amazing.  However, I also know that doesn't always happen easily.  Like everything in life, you do have to work for it, and sometimes, for some people it's a lot of hard work.  Here's the warning, don't read any further if you don't want to hear about nursing in detail and just how hard it can be. 

This is just my story, it's not meant to offend anyone, but I want to record it, mostly just for myself, but also in hopes that someone might be encouraged to keep at it, even when it is hard. 

I've often heard, even read that nursing should be painless.  That hasn't been the case for me.  I actually did a poll on a forum that I'm on recently and discovered that in most cases, especially with a first child nursing can be extremely painful and challenging at first.  Good thing it is SO REWARDING that it's all worth it. 

My first was quite challenging.  It was painful getting him to be able to latch on properly, then I had a yeast infection, then I had mastitis (the same day I had to take my precious Patience dog and have her put down).  Finally, at about 8 weeks things started to smooth out and I was comfortable. 

Scott- about 3 weeks, quite the chunky little guy, and we thought he had a lot of hair!

My 2nd, it was also painful initially, but only briefly.  This time it was a combination of sore nipples and those horrible, but very important in a good way cramps that nursing induces to help heal the body. 

Blaise- about 3 weeks, with a lot more hair than Scott, at least on the sides.

My 3rd, was similar.  Except then he slept through the night...then he didn't... then he did it again... then he didn't... repeat for a few weeks with randomly sleeping through the night and just about EVERY time he slept through the night I got mastitis.  I learned something... Redmond's Real Salt cures mastitis, quick and easy.  1 Tablespoon of Redmond's Real Salt, dissolved in 1C hot water will flush your system and the mastitis will clear up in 24 hours.  Drink the whole cup of that twice the first day you notice symptoms and once a day for the next couple of days.  Remember to also keep massaging any red problem areas.  Someone also mentioned to me during this time that there's a supplement called Lecithin you can take to help prevent mastitis, but I never ended up getting it.

Michael- about 3 weeks, even more hair, and a big guy.

My 4th was a pretty miserable experience for a long time.  He came 2 weeks early, where all the others were born considerably after their due dates.  That means he was smaller.  He had a very hard time getting latched on, but once he was on he was fine.  He would do this head bobbing thing and kind of kiss my nipple, but didn't get down to business.  Surprisingly he never had a problem with weight gain.  When my milk came in, I was very engorged.  I called the lactation office and they were pretty much no help.  Once the engorgement went away I was left with horribly sore nipples.  After a couple of days they were cracked and bleeding.  It was pretty painful, to say the least.  Nothing was helping and I wasn't sure where to turn for help.  I was using nipple shields, but he still wasn't latching on like he should, so the sore spots were just getting more and more irritated.  I used plenty of lanolin cream, and rubbed plenty of milk in to help heal it too... all to no avail.  Finally, when he was about 5 weeks old a lactation consultant, who couldn't see us because she was sick with the flu, suggested using a triple cream- hydrocortisone, Neosporin, and an anti-fungal.  My pharmacist mother had a great time mixing it up for me.  After about a week of that things started getting better and by the time he was 6 weeks we were doing well.  This was my 4th baby, I really expected things to be going smoother and I told Cullen to remind me of the 6 weeks of pain when I started wanting another baby.  Guess it wasn't bad enough to make me change my mind.

Daniel- about 3 weeks, our bald baby, and you can see the thrush in his mouth.

Now for the long part- it's been 2 pages so far and it's another 4 pages in Word from here to the end.  The 5th time around, with a baby girl hasn't been much better.  She had a good latch starting out, being bigger certainly makes that part easier.   She also was born ready to suck on anything anywhere near her mouth, which is a good thing.  I got engorged again when my milk came in, but remembered to treat it with cabbage leaves in the bra right away and it never got too bad.  I had the initial nipple soreness, and the cramping, but I thought we were doing pretty good.  Baby girl was sleeping well at night too, going for a 5-6 hour stretch nearly every night.  I would wake up after 3 hours or so, feeling full and wondering if I should wake her, but I've always been on the don't wake a sleeping baby side of the fence.  At the same time with such a little one, I was hesitant to pump not wanting to mess with the supply or have to give her a bottle if she woke up right after I finished. 

RoseMarie- less than 24 hours, nice and chubby at birth!  And wow, yes, lots of hair.

Not surprisingly with such a sleeper, when she was 6 days old I got a fever, which means mastitis.  I drank my real salt and massaged and things seemed to clear up.  The next day I felt fine, even though the red spot was still there.  The day after that though, 8 days old, I had a fever again.  Now I had 2 red spots.  I drank more salt and on the recommendation of the lactation consultant, who wasn't sick and saw us at the Breastfeeding Support Group, I resolved to drink the salt daily for a full week to make sure things cleared all the way up.  Baby girl seemed to be gaining weight well, a little slower than her brothers, but gaining- despite the fact that she nursed for a very long time during the support group meeting, but didn't take in nearly enough.  The next day the first spot had cleared up and was gone, but the 2nd remained. 

RoseMarie- 10 days, cuteness.

Fast forward a week, she's now 15 days old and the spot is still there, possibly a little bit bigger, I am still feeling feverish off and on, and during the support group meeting we found that baby girl was actually losing weight.  I figured it was about time I just went to the doctor and got antibiotics, but the lactation consultant pointed out that antibiotics clear an infection, not a blocked duct, so they would only need to be repeated if the duct didn't clear.  She recommended a few things to get the duct to clear... soak in hot water with Epsom salt, twice a day, and continued massage.  She thought this would clear it up in a day or two.  She also recommended a few things to get baby girl back on track, noting that the problem was that she wasn't doing much swallowing- compressing the breast while she's eating, supplementing with pumped milk (I always have a considerable excess, and typically pump once a day, after she finishes nursing in the morning and get 4-5 oz), and waking her to feed her more frequently. 

RoseMarie- 2 weeks, skinny cuteness, as she was getting much longer too.

I gave her 1-2oz from the bottle after nursing twice the day after that and only once the following day and she seemed to get the idea and do a better job with swallowing.  I did also try to disturb her more frequently, but still only managed to get her to nurse 8-9 times a day.  I had definitely given up on the don't wake a sleeping baby mantra and we woke her every 4 hours during the night (though sometimes it took 40 minutes and lots of cold water to wake her.) 

The salt seemed to help my breast feel better (softer), but the next day I had a higher fever, 102.  I decided I needed to go get antibiotics anyway, but didn't get in til the next day (Thursday, day 17).  I also still had a red spot, so on Friday I talked to another lactation consultant from the same office who said the next thing to try is soaking a rag in Castor Oil, applying that to the spot and applying heat on top of that.  I tried the Castor Oil a couple of times, but I still had a fever, nursing was horribly painful, and the red spot had become much larger and very swollen.  We passed a miserable weekend (and had people in town visiting, wanting to help, which I didn't respond well to- I'm not a very easy sick person.)  By Sunday (day 20) it was difficult to get her latched on, because it was very swollen.  Once she was latched on, it was horribly painful to take her off and remove the pressure.  I was pretty certain that the infection had abscessed at this point and did my research to find out what the course of action would be.  I was still trying to massage a little bit, and made one or two more attempts with the Epsom salt and the Castor Oil.  We skipped church, and I had Cullen skip too to stay with me, which is really saying something if you know us. 

Monday I still had a fever- for the 6th straight day after being on antibiotics for 4 days.  The fever was responding slower to the ibuprofen, so I was feeling much worse though.  Plus, Monday morning any fears I had that it had abscessed were confirmed as  it broke through the skin during the night, and it was oozing some when I woke up.  I called the doctor, knowing I needed to see a doctor, but they said that my favorite midwife had an appointment available!  I figured that would make me feel better and she would get the doctor if she needed to. 

We had a friend come keep the boys and Cullen came with me to the doctor.  Baby girl was hungry, just as they put us in an exam room, so she was nursing when the midwife came in- all cheerful as usual.  She could see around her head the edge of the red spot and immediately started with we'll get you on some antibiotics for that right away.  I laughed, seriously, and pointed out that she couldn't see anything yet and I was already on antibiotics.  She went and saw another patient while we finished nursing.  When she came back in, she moved here from England in 2005,  she saw it and said, "Bloody Hell!  I've never seen anything that bad in my life."  I laughed again- I told you I knew she'd make me feel better.  Then she promptly went and got the doctor, who immediately said, "Call the surgeon."

They called and arranged for us to get in with the surgeon right away, so we drove across town.  If you want to skip the part about the actual surgery, skip to the next paragraph now.  The surgeon came in and looked at it and said, "That hurts a lot doesn't it?"  Um, yes.  He said it needed to be cut open and drained.  There was a lot of pus right under the skin right there that needed to get out.  We could go across the street to the hospital and do general anesthesia or go down the hall to their surgery room and do it in the office.  Immediate is always better right?  Cullen promptly excused himself to the waiting area.  I waited for a while in that really really really cold room.  When the surgeon came back he said he would give me a local anesthesia, but it probably wouldn't do anything.  I couldn't feel that needle at all and I couldn't feel the incision at first either.  Yes, I watch, I can't help it.  The nurse kept telling me to lay my head back and that I didn't need to look.  The surgeon was right, there was a lot of pus.  It also hurt a lot, as he had to press on it and even dig his finger down in it to break it up and make sure to get it all out.  The incision was a little over an inch across (and it's on the underside of my breast.)  He didn't stitch it up, so it's been kind of spread out in the middle and oval shaped.  He did put in a little tube to make sure it kept draining and one stitch to keep the drain in place.  He had said I would feel better immediately.  I did feel better, but had a different kind of pain- like right after you fall off a bike and skin your knee, it stings for a little bit kind of pain.  It was a definite improvement. 

When we left the office, we were both crying- I was upset because I had to cancel my trip to Tupper Lake to come back to get the drain out (seriously, hormones make you emotional over the weirdest things) and Cullen was upset because I had had to deal with that, and have surgery, and because I was upset.  

RoseMarie- 3 weeks and 2 days, even cuter?

The surgeon had said that I couldn't nurse on that side for at least a couple of days.  I asked about pumping and he said that was fine as long as I dumped it, the concern being not wanting to get the infection into the baby's mouth.  I wasn't brave enough to pump right away though, so I just hand expressed some a few times that first day, then I pumped twice the 2nd day- ouch.  I had her back on nursing the 3rd day after the surgery and it was fine.  A little annoying with the drain hanging out and trying to keep that covered and away from her, but it felt much more like nursing should.  I think I said that to Cullen at least once that week- finally, this is what it's supposed to be. 

It has now healed up nicely, just a little scab left after 3 weeks of healing from the inside out to make sure it's clear of infection.  Now I look at my sweet 6 week old girl while she nurses and smile contentedly.  This is what it's supposed to be like and we are going to thoroughly enjoy the rest of her first year and beyond- as I informed Cullen, who has a 1 year rule for nursing, after all this I will do absolutely nothing to encourage weaning.  

RoseMarie- 5 weeks, 3 days... and we're golden finally.  Really enjoying staring at her sweet face.

There you have it, that's how we spent the month of August and that's why I dropped off the face of the planet for a few weeks.  We are back.